They say the more it’s talked about the better.

There has been strong opposition as well as support for the April 3 decision by the Iowa Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage. However, the Rev. Elizabeth Colton of St. Paul Congregational United Church of Christ in Oskaloosa thinks more dialogue is needed among those without a firm opinion on the issue.

Colton stressed that she does not speak for her congregation, but noted that there are those in her church that are for, against and undecided about where they stand on same-sex marriage. However, this is not the first time Colton’s congregation has been presented with the question of what marriage ought to be.

In 2005, Colton’s denomination had a meeting of its general senate as it does every two years. At that time, they approved a marriage equality resolution, said Colton. This does not mean that every church within the denomination was forced to recognize this resolution.

“We are a very democratic and decentralized denomination,” explained Colton, who also stressed that she does not speak for her congregation. “What that means is each congregation has the right and the responsibility to make its own decisions on any issues of social justice. We say our general assembly speaks to the churches, not for the churches.”

At this point, a formal conversation on same-sex marriage still needs to be held at Colton’s church, she said. When that will be remains to be seen.

“I think Liz and her congregation are a really good example of what is happening across the state,” said Justin Uebelhor, communications director for Des Moines-based gay rights group One Iowa.

Uebelhor and One Iowa Executive Director Carolyn Jenison have been traveling across the state of Iowa talking with community newspapers and conducting public forums on same-sex marriage. One Iowa recently held such a forum in Ottumwa, said Jenison.

“It has faith voices on the panel, parents or a couple and business leaders just to talk about the reasons why they support it and then let people make that decision,” Jenison said.

An upcoming public forum One Iowa will hold will take place 7 to 9 p.m. Dec. 7 in Grinnell on the Grinnell College campus.

“We recognize there will most likely be another attempt in the legislative session to try to amend the constitution,” said Uebelhor. “I think that would really be a divisive and destructive thing to do for our communities. It’s something that is going to pit neighbor against neighbor at a time when we should be working on those common issues like the economy and bringing jobs into the state of Iowa.”

On a recent visit to Oskaloosa, Jenison and Uebelhor agreed with Colton, saying the more same-sex marriage is discussed the better.

“We’ve got this group right there in the middle that really haven’t had the conversation but want to and want to be educated on it before they make any decision,” said Jenison. “We usually find that when people start talking about it they move to acceptance.”

Without dialogue on the issue, some important aspects of the same-sex marriage debate are lost, said Colton. She added, the line between civil marriage and religious marriage is often blurred in conversations on same-sex marriage.

Colton said civil marriage is a legal contract that is sanctioned by the state of Iowa. Religious marriage is a sacred covenant between a couple and God rather than a legal contract, she said.